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November 4th was a bittersweet day for me for many reasons.  I cannot say how overjoyed I am that Barack Obama won the presidency.  I went from being a diehard Hillary fan to shifting my support to Obama after his clinched the Democratic nomination.  It was a tough decision, because I had also liked McCain, but I felt that McCain caved under the pressures of his own party as well as the campaign, and well… let’s face it, the illfated decision to make Sarah Palin his VP choice.  Not cool.  After listening to Barack and his life speak a number of times, I developed great respect for them.  I feel deep down that they will help put this country back on the right path.

In CA, they had two notable measures on the ballot, Prop 2 and Prop 8.  Prop 2 was essentially a measure to prevent farms from confining livestock to small cages.  Prop 8 was a measure to change the states constitution to define marrage as a union between a man and a woman.  Surprisingly, California voters chose to extend rights to animals, but voted in favor of this ban on gay marriage.  The outcome alone was quite shocking, but what is more shocking is the irony behind the whole matter.  Surveys showed that a majority of blacks and hispanic persons voted for Prop 8.  It’s quite sad that two oppressed cultures would have the audacity to vote against another minority and deny them rights.  Even greater was the irony that the “Yes on 8″ measure was promoted highly by the mormon church.  What the hell man?  The mormon church, the people who brought us the wide world of polygomy, are trying to promote the sanctity of marriage.

The news that Californians voted to give these animals rights but could be so hypocritical against gays was difficult to absorb.  It  did not hurt me directly so much as I felt a great sadness for my two friends, a couple for over 11 years, through the good times and bad, who came out to California last July to get married.  I’ve never seen them so excited and yet so nervous in my entire life.  I could see that these two people genuinely felt a love for one another and were cherishing this moment that they could have a shred of recognition for the many years they had been together.  I felt like I had just watched my best friend robbed at gunpoint and powerless to do anything about it.

Part of me can’t help but feel this isn’t so much about protecting the sanctity of marriage more than it is about jealousy.  The divorce rate is sky high and I think those who can get married have devalued what it means to be married so much that it has gone from (to paraphrase Wanda Sykes) “till death do you part” to “ehh, I’ll give it a shot”.  Finally, a new group of people enter into the picture who highly value what it means to be married and suddenly people are threatened and are jumping to prevent this new group from making them look bad.

Ok, so McCain snubbed an appearance on the David Letterman show.  It was pretty obvious that Dave was pissed because of it.  Admittedly, the mockery was pretty funny.  But there’s one thing that Dave said that struck me… he said “the road to the whitehouse runs thru me”.  At first, I thought… well that’s a pretty bold, slightly arrogant statement.  But then it dawned on me… ya know, he’s right.  David Letterman is like the U.S.’s best friend.  I mean come’on, what’s not to like about the guy.  Leno too.  They’re our homeboys, our friends.  And when you bring a new fling into the mix they gotta be cool with your friends right.  If this new fling starts dis’ing on your friends then who are you going to side with in the long run… your friends!  Unless of course what the fling offers in bed is just THAT good… but the context here is politics and McCain isn’t THAT good in the metaphorical political bedroom.  I think they should add that requirement to the constitution.  All presidential candidates and their vice presidential candidates must go on Letterman or become ineligible to run.

Why is it, that every time I start dating someone… guys just come out of the woodwork.  Yet, when I’m single and pursuing them, they play hard to get.  I find it disconcerting at times.  Oh well, their loss…  gotta strike while the iron’s hot.

So mr. man is off on some work retreat this weekend discussing subject matter that could make my head explode.  It’s just as well.  I’m overdue for a do-nothing weekend.  The stress from work has begun to manifest itself as an ulcer.  Not cute.  I’m all achy (and thus bitchy) from working out hard lately.  Need rest.

Estelle Getty died earlier this week.  Sad day.

This bitch is off whoring around in Europe right now.  Love him.  Hate him.  So jealous.

So I have a new guilty pleasure now - Hulu.  It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that I work on the technology they use… ok, I lied… maybe a little.  But a) I can legitimately view Family Guy online w’out enduring some half-assed back alley encode posted up to Youtube, and b) one word… Heroes.  I’m in love with that show.  I’m so late for the party, but I started watching season 2 on Hulu and now I’m addicted.  I’m like a crackhead suffering withdrawals just waiting for Villains to come to tv.

Thinking about getting an iPhone.  3g, yes please.  I think the professor on Gilligan’s Island could slap together two coconuts, some vines and palm leaves and get better reception than I’m getting up in my hood.  It’s pretty ridiculous that I’m reduced to pointing my phone a certain direction and using my bluetooth just to talk on the phone.  Besides, carrying around two phones has become a bit bothersome lately.  I need to consolidate.

I’m starting school next month.  Heaven help us all.  I’m being forced into yet another C++ class in my college career, and to add insult to injury, I have to take some generic computer course on how to use Word/Excel, netiquette, and html, and a host of other things I’m grossly overqualified for.  Such is life.

Your humor will be missed…

This is something that has been weighing on my mind lately. Personally speaking, I feel torn between my support for open source software but I have much empathy for those who make proprietary software myself. For example, I’m a huge fan of MySQL but I can’t help but wonder how something like MySQL has impacted something like MS SQL. As a software developer, I or by extension, my company certainly should get paid for the software I create. After all, it goes to pay my salary and foster innovation. On the other hand, supporting open source has a way of fostering innovation as well. Ok so, you out invent them right? That’s often easier said than done. What happens when they copy almost everything your software does and infringes on patents? Heaven forbid you say something bad about an open source project or go after them. Suddenly the tech industry thinks you’re evil. It leaves me in conflict.

Changed the theme again.  Decided I didn’t like the new theme I had selected so I defaulted back to the previous one.

Added a subset of the old image gallery I had on the website (with some previously unpublished pictures).

Added a gallery of some more recent photos.

Added my gallery from my trip to Chicago ages ago.

The Europe gallery is broke and trying to piece it together is a bitch.

When they announced the California Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage a couple of weeks ago, I was happy to hear the news, but hardly elated since it really didn’t directly apply to me.  I’m single and (technically speaking) have been for the past four and a half years.  I grew up in the deep south, so I think this is something that I had just come to accept as something I wouldn’t be seeing any time soon.  Regardless, I was pleased to see the news as I personally think it shows an advancement in society.  I “woohoo’ed” and didn’t think much about it.  Well that was, until late last week, when one of my closest friends I had known since my college days asked me to help him acquire all the necessary details so he and his lover of eleven years could fly out here and get married.  Also, I found out in idle conversation with my gym trainer that he himself had proposed to his significant other the day they made the announcement.  Now the subject is starting to hit a little closer to home.  It really puts a different perspective on things when you see something like this affect people you know, who are in love, and cannot share the same benefits as those of the opposite sexes who, admittedly, often take it for granted.  For their sake, I hope this is something that remains in effect and the rest of the nation takes note.  Of course, one can only be so optimistic.  Seeing how this subject impacts those close to me, I can’t help but think those people who oppose this and have their head’s shoved so far up their asses, wedged in there with a Bible, are taking candy from a baby (figuratively speaking).  Godspeed my gay friends.  You have my support.

My mind is a tangent to reality at the moment.  My thoughts are like voids and yet they are distracting.  I need clarity.  I need focus.  I need… a vacation.

Incidentally, it was one year ago today that Ben and I set out on my move to California.

Turning 30 late last year was a drag.
Turning 30, meeting someone who rocks your world then crushes it two months later, is an even bigger drag.
Through it all, I survived. I guess there is a bit of truth to that old mantra, “that which does not kill us only makes us stronger”. I find San Francisco to be a bit more tolerable now. I still have my moments where I miss home, but more-so where I miss my dogs. It’s been a year now and I still find it strange to wake up without them trying to jump on the bed or come home and not have them excitedly greeting me at the door. The financial shift for the better has helped me acclimate myself to the west coast more.

I decided recently to focus less on the negative and do something constructive with my life. While I still pine for my old home, it’s doing nobody any benefit, including myself. I have set a focus on my mind, body, and spirit as of late.

Mentally, I decided I wanted more knowledge. I’ve been reading books that pertain to my work and I re-enrolled in college. My employer covers all my school related expenses with little requirements from my end but a passing C or better and they cap it at 10 grand. I would be stupid not to go back and finish my bachelors. At times, I find myself unable to follow certain conversations at work because the subject matter is above my head. It’s all material I would have learned in college and quite frankly, smiling and nodding will only get you so far.

Physically, I joined a gym and hired a trainer. I’ve noticed that my metabolism, while still obnoxiously high, has slowed down a bit since my early 20’s. I figured this was the prime opportunity for me to start working out again. At the same time, I also have noticed I had started to get out of shape. Walking up six flights of stairs used to be nothing for me. Now, I find I get a bit winded by the time I reach the top. I set a goal for myself of an additional 15lbs of muscle mass by summer. I also slump my posture, a lot, and I’ve been working hard to correct that.

Spiritually, I’ve just tried to adopt a more positive attitude about things. My success at work has eased off a lot of stress factors in my life, namely financial. While I don’t think I’ll ever be a morning person, I think the subtle changes I’ve been making have had a bearing on my overall attitude. I find that I’m a lot happier in the mornings than I have been in quite some time.

I’m a firm believer that you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

Oops, I guess the website was down.  Shows how much I check it.  Fixed now, obviously.